Happy New Year Poem

Happy New Year Poem

The journey we planned wasn’t to be

The dream of you being placed on me

Instead I heard ringing from the alarms

Then there were doctors, midwives and my empty arms

It felt like forever but then you suddenly cried!

And I cried alongside you, overjoyed you’d survived

They wheeled you past me and let you linger

Just for a moment so you could hold my finger

The midwife gave me a photo of you

With tubes on your chest and in your mouth too

I felt helpless, exhausted and in lots of pain

But I held onto hope that I would see you again

Then I got to hold you for the first time

A rush of love through me, I knew you were mine

Your heart rate and breathing started to slow

As the sound of my heartbeat calmed you so

It was new years eve and I lay alone in my bed

Imagining what we’d be doing if we were home instead

Our lives upside down, I lay silent with fear

As my phone beeped continuously “happy new year”

I remember going in to do your first daily cares

With a tray of cotton wool and water all prepared

The excitement I felt to be caring for you

Doing what felt natural, what I was supposed to do

Suddenly your chest was still and lips were blue

As the doctors rushed in to try and save you

And I stood there in shock, my body all stiff

As I closed my eyes and prayed that you’d live

But that day something changed and it helped me to see

That it’s strength and love that you needed from me

Seeing you fight day after day

Gave me hope and took some fears away

You were diagnosed with hypoxic ischaemic encephalopathy

I had no idea what it was, it was all new to me

They told me you’d likely have cerebral palsy

That only time would tell, we’d have to wait and see

With wild thoughts going around my head

I had no idea what lay ahead

Surrounded by parents of premature babies

No stories around me to put my mind at ease

This journey has been tough, more than I can say

And you make me so proud every single day

But just when I think we’ve made it through

I hear “happy new year” and I’m back there with you.